Number one reason for negative thoughts, emotions, and behaviors

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What if you knew the main underlying reason for most negative thoughts, behaviors, and emotions?

Knowing this, would you not be empowered to change your life and the life of your loved ones for the better?

In my practice and personal experiences, I have seen over and over again that lack of CONNECTEDNESS or feelings of being LOVED and HEARD is the primal reason for kids’ misbehavior and non-compliance, partners’ resentment of each other, and adults’ frustration in family environment and workplace.

Of course, there are physical needs such as food, sleep, and shelter, and other basic psychological needs such as autonomy and competence, but connectedness seems to be the most prominent area of concern in most cases.

An Eastern spiritual teacher, Bhagawan Nityananda says, “The heart is the hub of all sacred places. Go there, and roam.”

I have found that dwelling in the energy of the heart seems to be the central lesson for almost all spiritual teachings.

The heart, having a brain of its own with 40,000 neurons, has even inspired Western scientists such as the ones in the Institute of HeartMath to extensively research Heart Coherence.

Now, what if I could show you one simple practice that could empower you to create heart coherence and cultivate love in your heart in any situation?

1. Put your left hand on your heart (in the middle of your chest) and put your right hand on top of your left hand.
2. Take 3 deep and long breaths into your heart.
3. Cultivate positive feelings such as love, gratitude, joy, and peace for 1 to 3 minutes.
4. Do this practice EVERY MORNING or any time you need to take a breather from a hard situation with your children, partner, or colleagues.

And finally, here is the GOLDEN practice that could create connectivity and acceptance in the other:

DROP THE CRITICISM WHILE TALKING!

Listening without criticism allows people to feel they are being heard.

This does not mean you agree with what they do or say. By listening to them, you are merely allowing for their basic psychological need of connectedness to be fulfilled to a great extent.

Simply, allow them to talk and mirror back what they say.

Half the time, this can solve the problem.

If it does not, structure your sentence this way when it is your turn to talk:

I feel …. when …. I wish ….

This switches the spotlight from criticizing the other to your feelings as well as the solution.

To your infinite wisdom,
Arayeh