Sibling Rivalry

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The topic of sibling rivalry is very near and dear to my heart since my entire awakening journey started with this. My daughter, who was two years old, grew extremely jealous of my son shortly after he was born. I had no idea how to deal with her frustration, and I ended up reacting to her. This resulted in a very resentful relationship between them as well as between me and her. Now I have two paradigm-shifter ideas to share with you that I wish I knew early on.

Number one: Know that your kids don’t just fight with each other; they actually fight for your love and attention, even if it is negative attention. Remember that the behavior is just the tip of an iceberg. It is just a form of communication, just a symptom. Our job, as conscious parents, is to get curious about the underlying unmet basic psychological needs. We need to make sure we are filling up these buckets on a daily basis. Spending at least 10 minutes with each child is a fantastic tool to fill up the connectedness bucket. During this time, fill them up with your presence, your acceptance, and your unconditional love.

You see, they think love is like an apple; it eventually finishes as we bite into it. They are worried that your love for their siblings means you don’t love them anymore. Let them know love is like the sun; infinite. Also, tell them the sun never discriminates between the trees. It will never say I give little light to the pine tree and lots of light to the cypress tree.

Number two: Avoid interfering when they are bickering unless it is a real safety issue. In my latest video on my Facebook group, PARENT FROM LOVE, I share four reasons why we need to do this, one of which is the following. When we interfere, we are unconsciously favoring one of them. This is inevitable. No matter how hard we try to be impartial, they feel they are our least favorite. Become aware of this favoritism.

In the video, I also introduced two fantastic books about sibling rivalry:

Watch the video, and let me know your comments and questions.

Conscious Parenting Tips and Tools – Sibling Rivalry