How to End Suffering – A Story of the Ego

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In my recent journey to the mind, I heard this parable a couple of times; however, today when one of my coaches retold it, it miraculously clicked a switch in my brain. This fable, justly, is the elixir to turn off the suffering. The famous Zen legend tells the story of an old and a young monk traveling together. When they reach a river with the strong current, they see a beautiful woman needing help to get across. The older monk carries the woman to the other side and bids farewell, and the monks continue on their journey. After being silent for a couple of hours, the old monk asks the young one if something was the matter and if he was upset. The young one criticizes why he had touched a woman when he knew they were not permitted. The senior monk replies, “I put her down hours ago; are you still carrying her?”

Yes, I had another breakthrough today. I had already learned that “ego” always possesses a single point of view. That is why we judge and get upset with people and circumstances. We assume we have the one and only true opinion about the events. And we keep reviewing the one-sided story in our mind unaware that we are subconsciously fueling the fire within us. Ego is reactive and dogmatic. Authentic self or soul is wise and patient. Ego looks through a narrow hole. True self expands the horizon to have an alternative, love-based perspective.  I knew the goal is to strip ourselves from the ego by seeing ourselves as the light itself. Light does not judge. Love does not condemn. The practice is to simply choose another point of view to separate ourselves from the egoistic emotions. To recognize that we are the consciousness behind the conditioning and the programming. I learned to catch my emotions – either good or bad – and tell them that they are not me, and in the end, thank them and love them for checking in. I did the practice for weeks, and today I lived it. It is the significance of crossing over from “knowledge” to “wisdom”. Not just learn, but know. Not just see, but live.

I knew that I needed to observe the emotion, and today I learned I essentially need to go to a rendezvous with it and melt it with love to become free. Soak the negative emotion with love. Sit with it until it’s freed. The senior monk, carries the woman close to his body and then he lets her go. The junior monk clings to the negative thought and suffers from resentment and judgment in his heart unbearably and endlessly. Ego judges and hangs tight. True self observes and chooses to release. We get overwhelmed with negative emotion in a very abstract and unfamiliar level. We are bothered by the tip of the iceberg, unaware that there is a dominant root feeding the thought. We need to get acquainted with the root and melt it to get liberated.

When a negative emotion or thought chronically occupies your mind, make time for both of you to go on a date. Sit with your emotion but not with the story. If you retell the story, you will feed it further and empower the negative emotion even more.  Let go of the story and just observe the emotion. Story is out there; emotion is in you and is always the subject. Emotion is now, in the present; the story is either in the past or the future. Now don’t resist the emotion; allow it. What you resist, persists. Make an appointment with your higher self and consciously say, “I feel overwhelmed.” Observe how the emotion gets transmuted into thin air. Simmer the energy and transform it into love. If you love your enemy, who is your enemy? After all, the negative feeling is there for a reason. Its mere mission is to offer you yet another opportunity to clear deeper and grow further.

This practice is the first item to do every day to co-create your life.

♥ Be.Love.Know ♥